Unplugged

As an Empath, someone who feels acutely the energies of others, it used to be difficult for me to disengage or untangle.  I am still learning how to prevent myself from being swallowed up by other’s feelings and also learning how to differentiate the feelings and energies of others from my own.  Sometimes, though, I carry them for a while before noticing them. I have felt the love and sexual desires of men and have reacted to those feelings as if they were my own.  I gotta tell you: The high from feeling the feelings of a virile man wanting me is incredible. I can feel what a he feels when he touches me.  I feel me and I feel him feeling me.  Talk about doubling your pleasure!  But there is a dark side to the ability to feel another as even double pleasure can be unclear.  Do I like him and want him or do I just like the way I feel feeling how he feels about me?  See what I mean? Confusing as heck.

I can walk around in a funk thinking it is my funk.  I can have a backache thinking it is my backache. I can have mood swings, thinking they are mine.  Do I truly dislike that woman and think she is a byotch or are those the feelings of another towards her?  Why does my stomach hurt?  Why do I feel suddenly horny?  Oh, there is a cute guy eyeing me. Figures.

I now own a huge moldavite pendant that a friend initially lent to me to wear for as long as I wanted or needed to.  He said that the energy of the stone was too strong for him, causing sensations of palpitations, shortness of breath and a squeezing in his chest.  After I wore the stone for a while I attained such a resonance with it that I could only feel its energy when it was being held by someone else AND I tuned into how they were feeling while holding it.  I would take in their feelings automatically until I realized, about a year ago, that I had control as to whether or not I wanted to feel what they felt.

There was a man in Sedona on my birthday – a warrior Prince.  God, he was beautiful!  The connection was shockingly immediate and puzzling.  Puzzling because when I drove away from our first encounter, an encounter where there was deep eye contact without any words spoken, I had a strong desire to turn the car around and had to logically talk myself out of it.  After we connected via email and phone I noticed a change in my sleep patterns and journaled about it.  I noticed a feeling of unworthiness and journaled about it.  I noticed a reluctance to meet.  What if he didn’t like me?  I shared my journaling with him and his comment, “That’s exactly how I feel”, clued me in.  I would ask a question in my mind and he would answer it.  I would make an unspoken request and he would fulfill it.   I was fascinated.  I was feeling his feelings, writing his words, living his life.   My friend Rose, a psychic, put it simply “You were so in tune that you could taste what he had for lunch.”

The turning point came within the month –  the day I felt anger, a profound anger.

Taking inventory of my day I found no reason to be feeling all that anger so I intended simply for the anger to return to the person it belonged to and for me to disengage fully from whoever that was.  I immediately felt relief.  Within 3 days the closeness I had felt with the warrior prince faded.  When we talked about it later I sensed an understanding between us that the anger had been his as he had also felt the disconnect.  I did not ask why he had been angry and he did not tell.

With our connection to the news, social media, and other people’s problems, we can be easily thrust into a maelstrom of feelings and emotions, mostly fear. Sometimes we mistakenly think they are our feelings.  I believe that there are a lot of people who are empaths or sensitives who don’t know they are.  A young man once told me he gets very irritated in crowds.  I asked him “Are those feelings yours?”, and he said “My father is like that too.”

“I am sure you got that trait from him but, are those truly your feelings ?”

I explained to him that there are some people who are more sensitive to the feelings and energies of others and thus will “take on” those feelings, especially in a crowd.  At first he gave me the “What choo talkin’ bout Willis?” look then I saw understanding in his eyes.

“Oh, you mean like their stuff is rubbing off on me?”

“Yup.  A simple fix is to just send it back.  Just say, in your mind, “This is not mine. I send it back to whomever it belongs.”

The next time I saw him he said he felt more at ease in crowds once he started sending the energies back.

Whether the feelings we take on belong to an individual, a group, or humanity as a whole, we can be profoundly affected by them.

One day in 2003 I created and did an exercise that both freaked me out and fascinated me:  I simply stated an intent to be forever unplugged from the collective.  I was playing with fire but did not know it.

3 days later (what is up with this 3-day thing?) I saw myself as a balloon with a string, drifting in blue skies – tied to nothing. I felt untethered, floaty, lost.  It scared the shit out of me as I had no reference to the feeling of not being connected to anything so I quickly connected to love/God/The All and immediately felt grounded and reconnected.   I don’t recommend that anyone do this total disconnect as it can be very disconcerting BUT I think that disconnecting from the drama, limited thinking, limited beliefs, and fear of mass consciousness can benefit anyone.

Wanna do it?  Just sit in a quiet space by yourself for a few minutes. Imagine an electrical cord going from you to mass consciousness/the collective – the seething mass of humanity filled with anger, the bubbling cauldron of fear, the morass of … (Oh, I went too far? You got my drift already? Whatevs).  Anyway, see yourself reach out and unplug the cord.  Next, imagine a beautiful light or whatever you think love looks like (NOT A PERSON).  See yourself plug your cord into the light. That’s it. If you can’t visualize or imagine then try this:  1). Draw two circles and have one represent the seething, drama grubbing cauldron of fear…um…the  limited consciousness of humanity, and the other representing  love.  2). Wrap an extension cord around your body with the plug placed in the circle representing limiting human consciousness. 3). Take the plug from the first circle and place it in the second circle. 4). Learn how to visualize.

Notice what you notice in the days to come.  Notice what is different and report back.  I guarandamntee you that you will feel different and look at life differently as your new source of energy will no longer be fearful humanity but love.

Courtni ~ The Soul Muse

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About Courtni

Nurse, healer, artist and deep thinker ...
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4 Responses to Unplugged

  1. Donna says:

    Beautifully stated Courtni, nice to have you sharing again ❤

  2. Irene says:

    Valuable succinct writing on your emphatic path. Much to absorb. Much comes to mind as the following.

    I’m coming to embrace my empathy a la Whitman…”I am all things.” The past few mornings, I woke up with unaccustomed feelings of anger. Instead of my usual disconnecting or analyzsing, I have chosen to honor and transform whatever negativity comes into my field.

    As an extrovert who needs to be alone at times, I found an important message as the New year began. It started with a festive dinner out, followed by a serene NYE Ananda candlelit spiritual service, then a midnight meditation at SRF, followed by a Jan 1st fun service at a spiritualist church, then a Mozart concert to support a charity.

    Normally this would have been overwhelming.
    Instead, I felt fantastic.

    I had been in the midst of so much love, hugs and all, with truly caring people. Was I being prepared, supercharged, for a 2017 to be the year in which I would be able to allow and in so doing transform whatever negativity tries to attach and drag us down?
    I am so grateful to have this renewed awareness that my own sensitivity is indeed supported by group connections of high vibration. And, I love the suggestion given at the New Years day service: “Be the heart for the heartless.”

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