The Other

I feel my life shifting.  I feel something coming and have been feeling it for some time.  Maybe it on the other side of the door – waiting. 

This or that?  I could stay here where it is safe, known, lucrative and boring.  I could find another more lucrative job doing the same thing – a job that, after the initial excitement of a new place, new routines, and new people, will quickly become safe, known, and boring. 

Stalemate – the 2 of swords. Decision time.  This or that?  Justice suggests that I carefully weigh all in her scales.  This or that?  Neither feels good – weighing a bit too much – each a rock in the pit of my stomach.  Heavy.

But is there another option? This, that or the other? I feel for the other behind door number 3.  Not knowing what my life would look like and unable even to fathom it, I try to touch its edges, to feel around it.  It seems larger, wider, bigger and more expansive than I’ve known up ‘til now. It has no edges.  I sit, get still, and call it in.

A peace engulfs me, tears leak from my closed eyes, a sigh escapes my lips and my body relaxes.  In my mind I speak to this energy “Let this path be known in clear and profound ways, unmistakable even to me. “ 

The door opens wide.

My old life is up for grabs.  Ambiguity is unwelcome.  The 10 of swords whisper “Time to let go.  Life will never be the same.”

Strangely, there is no fear.  I relax some more, melting in the embrace of the other.  This and that no longer matter.  There is something grand behind door number 3, and we are now one.

~Courtni

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About Courtni

Nurse, healer, artist and deep thinker ...
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